The Self-Aware Founder

It’s hard to achieve goals when you don’t even understand how you think.

Why is there often a disconnect between what people say and what they do, especially in startup land? I have interviewed hundreds of founders and hosted numerous community events over the past year, providing me with insight into their behavior in both private and public settings, from Silicon Valley to Minnesota. After all those conversations, I found a disconnect between what the founders said was important and how they actually spent their time.

Many founders said finding product-market fit was the highest priority. They spoke passionately about validating their core hypotheses before pushing for growth. I heard stories of startups doing hundreds of customer interviews, rapidly iterating products based on feedback, and obsessing over cohort retention rates.

But they quickly contradicted themselves. Instead of focusing on testing and iteration, they prioritized meeting new people (often not their target audience) and participating in startup programs (as if an additional badge could help them sell). When I asked them what they were optimizing for, they would repeat ‘product market fit’ and then ask, “By the way, do you know this investor?”

When founders fixate on vanity metrics like network and credentials, they waste their most precious resource: time. Startups succeed when they seize the right opportunity at the right time. But the time window is ephemeral. How long can they afford not to build their actual business?

Of course, building a network and raising capital is critical for any startup founder, so why don’t they explicitly admit these are their priorities? Rather than doing rigorous customer research or learning from experienced founders, they pursue social media hacks and learn through trial and error, instead of executing a research plan, which doesn’t have to take a long time. While the delayed gratification of research may feel like wasting time, methodical research actually saves a ton of time and money later on.

Some founders believe actions speak louder than research, or quantity is a form of quality. Perhaps they think an impressive investor update listing all the tactics they’ve tried instead of all the research they…